The Adventures of No, No, Bad Dog: The Cubic Conundrum

Hello again, dear fans. It's been a while.

I was deep under cover...oh, who am I kidding. I was just messing around barking at neighborhood children coming home from school. LOOOOVVVEE IIITTT!!! =P

Anywho, as I was saying, it's been a while since my last mission, and as it's nearing Christmas and the Naughty/Nice list is getting checked, I felt I needed to spring into action.

As some of you might know, my fortress has been penetrated by the evil Cute Baby! The folks think I am such a good sport. Ha! So, what was I to do, but give them a little demonstration of my power and position in this household. Enter the "X" block.

Why X? Well, X marks the spot. X-cellent. X-citing. You get it!

Evil Cute Baby had once again sucked Leanna into his vortex of cuteness and they were playing on the floor with his wooden blocks when I started forming my plan. I like wood. I eat wood. This is what I shall do! So, when they weren't looking I swiped the X block! All I left behind was a little sliver, as a calling card you might say.

Leanna, of course, caught onto my plan, but didn't go in search of the X. So, when she was AGAIN busy with Cute Baby, I mysteriously manifested the missing block and began chomping. What happened, you ask!? She took it away and told me "No, No! Bad Dog!" Yes! I had succeeded! She remembered my name! She remembered my purpose.

Throughout the day, I repeatedly snuck the block back from wherever she had placed/hidden it. My mission was not complete.

Finally, after Joe came home, saw what I had done, he and Leanna decided the block was toast.

Success!!!

Cute Baby -- you are a mighty foe! I have won this round, but I will not let down my guard. (note from the ghost writer -- No, No, Bad Dog is sleeping while I recount his tale.)

Until next time!

Adventures of No, No, Bad Dog - The Thanksgiving Edition

Hello dear readers,

It is I, No, No, Bad Dog returning for another enjoyable installment of my latest trials and tribulations.

As you all are aware of last week we celebrated a delectable holiday called Thanksgiving. I will refer to this as the Feast of the Big Bird!

My parents made the silly decision to leave me to visit Leanna's folks in Houston. I am not allowed to go, something about allergies and fencing not up to puppy code. So, for my first night of alone-ness, they left me at Doggie's Wonderland.

Oh, you'd think I'd have a great time frolicking and romping with 30-plus dogs my size also left over the Feast of the Big Bird. Truth is, you'd be right -- BUT WE'RE NOT GOING TO TELL THE PARENTS THAT...GOT IT!?

I was picked up the next day by my aunt, Sarah, and you know what...they didn't even give her my leash! Said I didn't have one or something (we picked it up yesterday, my mom takes care of me!). So she has to get me to her car on a busy road with dogs barking and no leash...thank you, Sarah!

And so began my stay with the grandfolks and the cousin pups, Baily and Ursa. We had a good time. On a few occasions I had to go back to stay at my house while they ran errands because their new fence isn't quite Ryker-tested just yet. I was super excited the first time they dropped me off thinking Mom and Dad were home. THEY WERE NOT! The next time, I was not so excited, so when they showed up to pick me back up, I leaped into the car and told them to take me home and LOVE ME!!

Now, here's where it gets good peeps! On one such day when we were all at home, the grandfolks went inside to clean up a bit from all of our adventures in their massive yard! When they returned a while later, I was NOWHERE in site! NOWHERE!

The panic set in. They surveyed the yard. They saw no holes. No boards missing. They called, and nothing! Where did I go!!?? (teehee, if only they knew.)

Ursa and Bailey just set there looking at them giving away nothing of my secret. They decided that I must have scaled the fence and made a break for home. So they both jumped in their cars and headed over...only no pupster.

After an hour or two of searching the neighborhoods in two cars and talking to my dad, they decided to come home and search one more time there. My dad said if they were home and the garage door was open, I wouldn't leave. He was right...but not in the obvious way.

Holly checked upstairs and the attic -- nothing. Jim decided to try calling again...and that's where he heard my sad little whine.

He called again and finally realized I was under the deck in the back yard. Not just with my head stuck, butt in the air, but UNDER THE DECK. IN THE MIDDLE.

-- Here's the deck!--

See, I was on an adventure and I just couldn't manage to turn around and get back out, so I just stayed. Jim rescued me by unscrewing a few boards, and out I popped. I was fine, really, just a little stuck!

Really, what was all the fuss about?

Between the grandparents and dad, they decided not to tell mom. But someone let it slip out, and my story was told. I didn't get into too much trouble, but they did tell me not to do it again.

I'll do my best, but sometimes it's just hard!

Stay tuned for my next adventure! Who knows what can happen over Christmas, right!?

The Adventures of No, No, Bad Dog.

Hello dear readers. Let me introduce myself to you. My name is No, No, Bad Dog. Some of you may have seen me in person or on this site under the guise of my alter ego, Ryker.

You ask, "Why the two identities, Ryker, I mean, No, No, Bad Dog?" I shall try to explain, dear reader.

As you all know there are some things in life you yearn to do, feel compelled to do, seem to do, but you don't want to. When these deeds are done, you might say, "oh, if only I had a secret identity, then no one would know it was me!" For me, I have such a luxury. In these necessary, but sometimes unwanted times, I am No, No, Bad Dog. I am free to cower, smile, shake or whatever the moment deems appropriate -- and no one is wiser that it is I, Ryker Stryker O'Brien, Cutest Puppy in the World.

You may have heard of some of my earlier adventures. I am a young pup, and I can assure, there will be more. But for this post, I shall tell you of my latest adventure.

My folks decided that they wanted to run a few errands before a very important first birthday party for my friend, Jonathan. My folks left me. In the yard. By myself! NOT COOL!

This is almost always a catalyst to bring out No, No, Bad Dog. And today was no different.

After weeks of planning and carrying out daring escapes in instances just like this, I have come to aquire a very well fortified back yard. My man folk, Joe, likes wood just as much as I do. But for some reason he doesn't scratch or eat his? He used it to build a big fence (which I ate through...at least 3 times so far). I also dug underneath it (at least 5 times). So he decided to strengthen it with concrete and a wood peremeter and a new rock path.

Neat. Don't they know this cannot stop No, No, Bad Dog?

As I said. They left me! Not cool! However!!! I found a weak point in Joe's plans...a tiny area between the fence, garage and driveway. It had newly tilled soil, just perfect for digging. So I went to town!!!!
I was almost free. But my stupid big head could not QUITE make it through the hole yet before my folks got home.

They saw the hole. They opened the fence. They did not see their precious, lovable Ryker - no - they met their arch nemesis, No, No, Bad Dog. Covered in mud!!!! (Did I mention it had rained, and the dirt was quite muddy?)
My lady folk, Leanna was spitting mad. They had to leave in a little less than an hour. And here I set. Muddy, crusty and a giant hole in the back yard.
Somehow, Joe wandered off and it was Leanna's job to deal with me. She tried to hose me off outside, but I would have none of it. She then decided she needed to get me to the tub, but how. And as soon as she opened the door to the house, I ran in and -- SHOOK! Yep, I shook in all my muddy glory!

That was it! She had it! She picked me up and ran! Right to the water torture room. Ugh! It took three bath fulls of water to get most of the mud off. She need something else to help get the rest off, but when she turned her back. Yep, I jumped out and shook again! In all my muddy, watery glory.

Joe then sought out poor Leanna all alone with me, came to the rescue and finished me off in the water torture device while she cleaned up my mess all over the house.

Ahhh, it didn't end quite as I hoped. They still left me. With my dopey side-kick (not by choice) Ursa. But I do believe this was a wonderful day for No, No, Bad Dog!

Stay tuned for my next adventure...